


Split

by tiedyeflag



Category: Clockwork (Webcomic)
Genre: Humor, alex watch where you're going dude, then you wouldn't be getting in these sorts of situations, well the ambASSadore deserves it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:18:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6473734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiedyeflag/pseuds/tiedyeflag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex acts high and mighty in front of Cog and Leo when he has a little 'slip up'...or should we say slip down. Now stuck in a helpless situation, he's at the mercy of his 'friends' and waxed floors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Split

**** “Remind me why you need so many papers again?” Cog complained as he carried a stack of paperwork towering above his head. He could barely feel his fingers under the numbing weight. 

“Maybe if you fixed your attitude sooner, then I’d offer to help,” Alex said in usual monotone. He lead the way as Cog and Leo followed, each carrying piles of papers. Leo’s however was much taller and he carried it with ease in one hand.

“Don’t worry,”  Leo whispered to Cog, “he’s just a little extra cranky because we ran out of mustard this morning…”

Alex stuck his nose into the air while he frowned disapprovingly. Looking over his shoulder as he walked, he hissed, “Don’t go so lightly on him, Leo. He must learn his place…” Alex approached a doorway to a tiled ballroom room, though he didn’t see just yet. Nor did he notice how freshly waxed and polished the floor was ahead.

“And don’t give me that look, Kleinschmidt. You would do well to mind your superiors,” Alex stepped onto the tiles. “If you’d even show-w-wHOA-” His dress shoes slipped over the smooth surface with high pitched squeaks, like cries for friction. “W-whoa-aaah-AAAAH-”

_ SPLAT!!! _

He bit his tongue to withhold a yelp. When the pain subsided, he gathered his bearings to find himself doing a perfect split. Both shapely legs were elegantly outstretched in opposite directions.

“Wow! You never told me you could do  _ that! _ ” Leo nearly dropped his stack in surprise. Cog couldn’t do the same, however, and his papers littered the tile, some coated in wax. Neither he or Leo stood on the tile, but just before the doorway.

“Since when were you a gymnastics prodigy?”

Alex narrowed his eyes. “Very amusing, Leo, now-”

“Funny,” Cog scratched his chin, “because the side of him I see every day isn’t nearly as... _ flexible _ ,” Cog nudged his elbow into Leo’s side, and they both chuckled.

“Enough with the jokes and help me!”

Cog and Leo went silent instantly.

“Wait...you can’t...get up?”

“You’re stuck?”

“Y...yes…” Alex flexed his legs, but his feet kept slipping. He tried again, grunting and using his hands, but with no success. Even worse, the wax slowly soaked into his tailored black pants. “So if you two would be so-”

The other two cut him off with stifling laughs and poorly hid smirks.

“P-pfff-! Pfff-hehe-pfft!” Cog bit his lips together while holding his bursting stomach, bent over. “H-hey, Leo, should we help or leave him be?”

“Kleinsch-”

“I-I don’t know, Cog, th-that’s a p-pretty  _ split _ decision!!”

“ _ Leo! _ ” Alex scowled and frantically attempted to stand once again. His feet vigorously slid against the slick tiles, muscles stretching his trousers along the seams. “You two come here this ins-”

_ Rrrrip-! _

Dead silence, and not a single movement. Unless you counted Alex’s face burning bright pink as disturbing the sudden stillness. Slowly, slowly, he craned his neck and glanced at his rear. A deeper flush spread over his cheeks.

“Pff-HAHAHAHA!!!” Cog leaned over so far he fell on the floor, but he laughed too hard to care. He banged his fists against the floor in rhythm with his feet kicking the air behind him. He didn’t even falter when Leo accidentally dropped his papers on Cog as he too succumbed to a loud guffaw.

“O-Oh man, Hawkins needs to see this!”

“Leonardo, don’t you dare-!” Alex ordered, but Leo was already gone by the time he finished. Now he was alone with Cog, laughter dying but tears of joy down his cheeks.

Cog barely registered how a large, ominous shadow swept over him. Only at the sound of sharp claws screeching against a smooth surface did he freeze. Swallowing, he looked up. Alex hung in the air suspended by his accursed Lith hands, each with claws digging into the tile, guaranteeing friction. They lifted Alex nearly eight feet above the ground, making Cog feel as small as a helpless flea. 

“Uh-uh-I…”

“ _ Kleinschmidt… _ ” Alex fixed his steely cold eyes onto Cog. 

“Uhhhh-I-I think it’s’ time for me to  _ split! _ Ha ha!” 

“Get back here!!” Alex ordered as his Lith hands propelled him forward through the air. Cog scrambled away just as Alex landed deftly on his feet where Cog once was. The dark hands dissolved back into Alex’s body before he ran off, shouting demands after Cog.

“KLEINSCHMIDT!!!”

* * *

 

The next morning, Alex sat stiffly at his desk, eyes low and nose buried into the Arcadian newspaper with shame. He did his best to ignore the fat letters on the front page; AMBASSADOR CHASES ASSISTANT THROUGH STREETS WHILE REVEALING UNDERWEAR. Just below the headlines was a monochrome picture of Alex’s backside, focusing on the tear in his pants revealing his silken, lilac heart print briefs. Cog was in the background, but too distant to make out clearly. 

Alex crumbled the paper until his knuckles went white. With flushed cheeks he shoved it into a desk drawer, planning to force it down the nearest paper shredder later. He slammed it shut and propped his elbows on his desk. At the corner sat a tall pile of ancient books, piled as high as the papers Cog dropped yesterday. And today, Alex would make Cog read every single one for homework. And give a four page report on each one. Due by the end of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> Sudden light bulb of inspiration after remembering kuto saying Alex would do the splits while kidnapping Cog. Didn't happen, so it was up to me to fix that. Also suddenly recovering from a week long art block after going through some major changes in college...now that it's mostly taken care of, I'm on an art BLAST! Where all I wanna do is draw my ocs, draw fanart (looking at you, Gaz), and write funny fluffy fanfic.
> 
> On a funny note, when I was little my mom always called my dad's briefs 'manties' and to this day I still call them that. So mention of Alex's manties i guess XD
> 
> Please leave a kudos and a review if you're not still rolling on the floor laughing! :)


End file.
